Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
Why is Johnson's baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?
There is no difference.
They both got split open by a huge log.
So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
Stop hating on pedos; at least they drive slow in a school zone, smh 🤣
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.