Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?