Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.