Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.
The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
Teacher tests Little Johnny, βOK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with βIβ.β
Little Johnny confidently starts, βI is...β
Teacher snaps, βNo, Little Johnny. You must always say, βI amβ.β
Little Johnny sighs, βYes maβam. βI am the ninth letter of the alphabet.ββ
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.
Girls are just like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What is the most played game in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
