Worst Jokes Ever

One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

At least one does something when it is triggered.

I don't like the word "gun".

Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

what is less than 0?

my will to live.

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

What's bigger than the Milky Way?

Michael Jackson's nose.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.

You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.

What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...

If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?

They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.

I've seen too many of them get elected.

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”

Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”

Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”

Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.

Roses are red. He shows no remorse.

Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

What goes zzub-zzub?

A bee flying backwards.