What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
Russia.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.
Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
1 like = 1 kid in my oven. I'm trying to get followers and comments, please.
My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call two Mexicans fighting? Juan on Juan.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?
Optimistic.
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
I hate my wife.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"
