Worst Jokes Ever
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
I wish my grass were emo because then it would cut itself.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
I was going to buy a watch today, but I didn't have time.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?