Worst Jokes Ever
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
Pizza Hut.
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights, especially the right to remain silent, because all appliances should be silent.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.