Worst Jokes Ever
What do orphans call a selfie?
A family photo.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Women need to be in the kitchen.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?
The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
When I was very young...
My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.
They are rapists now.
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.