Worst Jokes Ever

I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?

Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.

Hey guess what...

What...

My penis is big.

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.

When I was very young...

My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.

They are rapists now.

Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?

He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.

Like if your best friend has a dog.

What's the difference between a child and a book?

One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.

What's 9 + 10?

21

Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso expresso.

JK, bleach.

If you were a food, what would you be?

Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."