Worst Jokes Ever

Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.

Except my depression.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy."

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

best friend makes 9/11 joke.

you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."

best friend: "I'm sorry."

you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."

5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.

Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"

Genie: "Wish granted!"

When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home to do it at.

Do gay midgets come out of the cabinet?

What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

What is an orphan's family portrait called?

A self-portrait.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

My life.

Tell me when you get it.

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?