Worst Jokes Ever
What's black and long?
- The line at KFC.
What's black and long? A line at KFC.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What’s a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE.
Q. What's the difference between a CEO and a deer?
A. You don't normally fuck the deer after you've shot it.
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!
Are you a toaster?
Because I wanna take a bath with you.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.