Worst Jokes Ever
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Why can't two Asians have a white baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
Definition of trust: two cannibals having oral sex.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
Uranus floats around in space.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.