Worst Jokes Ever
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
"Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?
Is HE goated with the sauce?"
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?
Because he Neverlands!