Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."

What's the same about a newborn and a football?

You can kick them both very easily.

I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.

What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?

Hot Wheels...

Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.

Follow me if you know someone smart.

What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they all beat the room for being black.

I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.

The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.

If you play games, go play on your sister.

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

Hi, I'm cool.

Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.

If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?

"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...