Worst Jokes Ever
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
I eat kids.
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Yo mama so fat that the sun is her moon.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS