Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
One day I'm walking and I saw Josh B. He's sucking balls and Marco jump[s], and we got [an] earthquake, and I say, "Yamate."
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Follow me if you know someone smart.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
What do you call a gay BBQ? LGBBQ.
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.