Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Worst Jokes Ever
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? So they can at least build a home.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
Why can Michael Jackson not play chess? Because he can't pick which side he is on, the white or black side.
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
I once got in trouble in the library for putting the women's right book in the fantasy section.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
