Worst Jokes Ever
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
I think one of my dads might be gay.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.