Worst Jokes Ever
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
I wish my grass were emo because then it would cut itself.