Worst Jokes Ever
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.
Bald Eagle.
Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”
Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?
She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?