Worst Jokes Ever
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.
But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f
... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.
LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Feminism.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!