Worst Jokes Ever
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
Why did the Titanic sink? It's because they didn't want the icebergs' candy.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.