Worst Jokes Ever
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pig?
There isn't one; they are both the same thing.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet all the koalifications!
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Roses are red, Justin Bieber is gay, But most importantly, You know de way.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.