Worst Jokes Ever
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
I created a website for orphans, but there was no homepage.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a cobblestone path.
One nun turns to the other one and says, "I’ve never come this way."
The other one says, "Neither have I. It must be the cobblestones."
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.