Worst Jokes Ever
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Midget
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?