Worst Jokes Ever
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despresso.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Egg surprise!
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Why did the female dicktator get fired? She had too much dick!
The person that created the knock knock joke won the Nobel reward.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"