Worst Jokes Ever
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.