Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.