Worst Jokes Ever
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Why do they call priests "father?" Because it's too suspicious to call him "daddy!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!