Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I don't want a relationship.
Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!