Worst Jokes Ever
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
Hitler was a dic-tator.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
I was going to kill myself, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.