Worst Jokes Ever
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because he looked like me.
Sans: Sure.
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do cows call money?
Moola.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.
What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.
A pa_pıe_rus.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
Why did the fridge have lots of friends?
Cause it was COOL.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.