Worst Jokes Ever
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?
— No.
— That's the spirit!
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her eyebrows.
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked my mom.
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]