Worst Jokes Ever
What do an abortion and a baby have in common?
The mom doesn't want either of them.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and he just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?