Worst Jokes Ever
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
How do you make a lesbian upset?
Give her a multiplication test.
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
Wanna know why Kobe can't shoot?
Because he's dead.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.