Worst Jokes Ever
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )
Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”