Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.