Worst Jokes Ever
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
When the school lets you near children again...
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
What's the best cure for aging? Suicide.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?
Sally in 13 trash cans.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”