Worst Jokes Ever
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.