Worst Jokes Ever
I make science puns periodically.
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Me nan.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
Why can’t dinosaurs cross the road?
Because they’re dead.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can’t find home.
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.