Worst Jokes Ever
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
You mom.
A baby seal walked into a club.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
How do you make a plumber sad?
You kill his family.
People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Your nan's bald.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.