Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
What's your religion?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded its title back!
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.