Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
What is smegma name?
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
Joe mama so fat, hello kitty said goodbye.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Butter believe it.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"