Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.

I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻

I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.

I replied I'd get ink poisoning.

Wouldn't recommend, the police came.

What has eyes but can't see?

Potatoes, storms, and needles.

If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

I rate you a 9/11.

Two cows are grazing in a field.

One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"

The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.

Twin Towers? No Jenga!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there would be no home base.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)

Baby: Wait for me!

(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)

(He squishes the child.)

Father: Ketchup!

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.