Worst Jokes Ever
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Patient: Oh, doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂