Worst Jokes Ever
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears.
Q: Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
A: Everywhere.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.