Worst Jokes Ever
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.