Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.