Worst Jokes Ever
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
Gan cube prices?
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
'Cause he doesn't want to be spotted.
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!