Worst Jokes Ever

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.

I'm the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.

Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.

What do you call terrorists in a wheelchair?

An RCXD.

It’s true women do make less money than men.

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/

An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

Neither of 'em can see their parents.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.

Dirty bitch!

Why do orphans hate health ed at school?

Their parents can't opt them out of it.

In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."