Worst Jokes Ever
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
Some people think prison is one word, but to criminals, it’s a whole sentence.
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.