Worst Jokes Ever
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
My dad is like the female wage gap: nonexistent.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have schizophrenia,
And so do I.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
I hate it when people are at my house and ask, "Do you have a bathroom?" What answer are they expecting? "No, we pee in the yard?"
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
Did you hear the score in the Egypt vs Ethiopia football game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”