Worst Jokes Ever
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"
What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.