Worst Jokes Ever

Stop complaining. Pedophile jokes are pretty funny, but to say there are over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.

God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.

Doctor: I'm sorry, but your surgery will cost a lot of money.

Buuuuut what's this behind your ear?

Oh, it's still cancer.

I'm bald.

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.

What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was an amazing pilot.

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?

A heartless killer.

There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.

What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."

Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."

I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.

Yo mama's so stupid, she had a staring contest with a mirror.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus.

I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

Roosters don't lay eggs.