Worst Jokes Ever
Withered Bonnie, more like Bonnie Mcnutt!
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
Joe mama so fat, hello kitty said goodbye.
What is smegma name?
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS
Butter believe it.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.