Worst Jokes Ever
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
kys
Two baby seals walk into a club.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
Yo mama's so ugly that even Hello Kitty had to say goodbye.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
Which bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.