Worst Jokes Ever
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
Sup peoples?
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!