Worst Jokes Ever
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?
I am not registered.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.