Worst Jokes Ever
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
What is the highest number?
420.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!