Worst Jokes Ever
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."