Worst Jokes Ever
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.