Worst Jokes Ever
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
Suicide is as easy as my ex-wife.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.