Worst Jokes Ever
I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
Old soviet joke.
"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.