Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."