And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
John's Unexpected Prize
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen here, you chucklehead. You think this is some profound commentary? No, it's just a silly play on words. The Bible talks about eternal life and then it's juxtaposed with a regular object, like a toaster. You are the type of person that trips over their own feet. The humor derives from the unexpected outcome.