Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."

My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."