Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
If I cut my wrist, am I a zebra or a tiger?
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
If you faked the moon mission, don't apollo-gize.
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are through the roof!
Who was not happy that the Titanic sank? The fish under it.
I would roast you, but the mirrors do when you look at them.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?