Worst Jokes Ever
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)
'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.