Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She's retarded.
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Woah, nice cock.
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"