Worst Jokes Ever
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?
Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.
BTW, I am one, wahahaa!
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I made it, DON'T COPY!!!
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.