Worst Jokes Ever
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
Roses are red. Violets are blue. You smell like shit. And you look like it too.
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.
Name the emojis, and if you do, then you get 900/900 points for knowing all the emojis! Type in the comment section.
1. 😀 What's this emoji meaning? 2. 😃 What's this emoji meaning? 3. 😚 What's this emoji meaning? 4. 😁 What's this emoji meaning? 5. 😍 What's this emoji meaning? 6. 😋 What's this emoji meaning? 7. 🧐 What's this emoji meaning? 8. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 9. 😳 What's this emoji meaning? 10. 😟 What's this emoji meaning? 11. 😰😨 What's this emoji meaning? 12. 😏 What's this emoji meaning? 13. 😬 What's this emoji meaning? 14. 🤐😣 What's this emoji meaning? 15. 😦🥺 What's this emoji meaning?
The winner who will win will be getting 900/900 points!
I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.
I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.