Worst Jokes Ever

How do you get a million fans?

Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.

I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.

Dear Slim Shady,

balls.

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.

Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.

Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale? 'Cause they already lost two towers.

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.

Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.

My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.

Girl: "Come over."

Orphan: "I can't."

Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."

My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

If an illegal immigrant fights against a child molester, would that be "Alien vs Predator"?

Me: Mom, I'm tired.

Mom: "Then go to sleep."

Me: No, you don't understand-