Worst Jokes Ever
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
The joke is my life.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
what's the difference between apples and orphans? ... the apples get picked.