I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
Worst Jokes Ever
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.
After all, it's not like Donald Trump could write a book.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
Last night, I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Cousins on the streets means lovers in the sheets. 😂👀
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought you were his brother.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
