Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."

Student: "That’s sad."

Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"

Student: "Your parents."

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

Why are orphans good at being a criminal?

Because they're not wanted.

A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."

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    • Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.

    You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

    If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.

    I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.