Worst Jokes Ever
School shooting happens:
Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk.
American student: “First time?”
The student from Irak with an AK47: "RAtatata..."
I bought a book for my blind friend.
September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
What’s the best part about having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
What's the most played game in Africa? The Hunger Games.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!