Worst Jokes Ever

9/11 jokes are the bomb.

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.

Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

What did the panther say at the Poker Party? "I would be lion if I said I was a cheetah."

I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

Why is the German blind?

Because he's a "not see."

Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?

Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

I'd tell a necrophilia joke, but they've been done to death.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?

He wiped.

Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.

My wife is like a mirror.

I can never look at it.

What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

Spider-Man: No Way Home >:D

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.