Worst Jokes Ever
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
A little kid was lost, and he asked me to find his home. I love working at the orphanage.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*