Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?
A zit waits till you’re 13 to come on your face
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."
Student: "That’s sad."
Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"
Student: "Your parents."
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Why can't England play chess? Because they lost their queen!
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»