Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.
James Last, the king of the LP bargain bin, died a Florida Man.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
What's the Twin Towers' favorite Minecraft biome?
A plains biome.
yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.
The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!
How do you stop a woman from choking?
Back up an inch.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.