Worst Jokes Ever
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
Pornhub suggesting me MILF on Mother's Day...
Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat, she made a whole species extinct.
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.